I cannot even believe that it's been 1 week exactly since Slade was born and our foray into a very difficult trial would begin. In the midst of it all, our faith was tested: does God really work all things for good for those who love Him? It can be easy to say you believe that but when you face a moment when you think you may be losing your child, does that truth anchor your soul? For me, it was a difficult roller-coaster ride of doubt, fear, anxiety, and tears; I certainly didn't feel like this could be for our good, but faith, as so many things are in our relationship with God, is a choice and not just a feeling but a resolved trust that God is telling you the truth, a truth that can never be altered or changed by anything we face in life. And these times when you feel your world is crumbling down around you is exactly where God works. And not just in an answered prayer kind of way, though He definitely chose to work through those means in this circumstance, which we are beyond thankful for but what if He had chosen a different path for us? One where it involved a different answer, a different outcome? Would He still be just as good? Just as powerful? Just as loving?
I am realizing that it is not ultimately about how our circumstances turn out that is the litmus test for God's goodness and love and the praise due Him but it is when we cast ourselves on Him, in complete and utter helplessness, surrender, and need, with faith even the size of a mustard seed, is when He works, that's where the miracle happens, that's where we see Him making possible out of the impossible, where mountains are moved and trees are uprooted, where He in His great wisdom and love, makes us more like His Son and that we can trust, is always good and for our good, and always makes Him worthy of our worship and praise.
Once again, we cannot say thank you enough for all your prayers, words of encouragement, love, and support. It means more to us than we could ever say and we praise God for blessing us with such amazing family and friends. We love you all so, so much!!!
Pics from the last few days:
On our way home!
We finally got to put Slade in his "Going Home" outfit and into his carseat that sat empty waiting for him.
His brother and sister LOVE him so much and their excitement over him is off the charts.
They just wanted to keep holding, kissing, and hugging him.
Meeting Gong-Gong (Chinese for "Grandpa")
And Po-Po (Chinese for "Grandma")
And can I give a massive, major shout-out to my parents? I don't even know how we would have done it going back and forth to the hospital if it wasn't for my parents being here, taking care of Jet and Roxy. They were such a blessing to us since we knew our kids were in great hands and that we didn't have to worry about what was happening on the homefront so that we could focus on Slade. We are so thankful and love you so much Mama and Baba!!
He honestly needs to win the "Best Big Brother Award."
He is so sweet with his little brother, speaking softly to him, wanting to hold him, pet his head and giving him compliments all the time like "Him is so cute," "I love Baby Brother." I could just die from the sweetness. What a blessing to a Mother's heart to see her kids already loving each other so much.
The biggest smile of pride and joy
And this little girl deserves the "Best Big Sister Award."
She constantly squeals in delight every time she sees him and always wants to hold him, kiss and hug him, and likes to feed him imaginary "treats," and cries whenever you take Slade away from her.
I love Roxy's look of pride on her face - we are so blessed with our three kids!
Mementos from our time at the hospital.
I will show these to Slade one day and tell him the story of God's great work in our lives during this time.
After the crazy haircut they gave him at the hospital, it was only fitting that we would use this opportunity as an excuse to give our son a rockin' mohawk.
"I pity the fool!"
Slade has been doing great since being home and we are now learning how to adjust to our new normal. We're buckling up and getting ready to enjoy the ride!